Update on Me
Ok this has been a LONG WEIRD road for me, but let me try and update as best I can and briefly as I can for those of you that have asked where I have been or what I have been up to.
My sister gave birth to a healthy boy! So happy for her, and glad that this one went quickly and smoothly. He joins a sister (2) and a half brother (8), everyone is doing well I am happy to say.
Mom has fully recovered from her back surgery and is happy to have no restrictions anymore. Uncle Ted came out for my sisters wedding and I have many great pictures of us all together.
As for me, well I finally got the ball rolling not just on my disability but also my divorce. Paperwork submitted, now the waiting begins. Many of you know, the seizures have been the worst. I am kinda stuck with them since the meds I can take for them knock me out, but if i dont take the meds I have seizure after seizure. Originally the kids started out with me, ex took everything and I was fine with it, in fact I TOLD him to take anything he wanted so long as I got to keep the kids.
So thats how the summer went, and I tried my best to deal with life on the drugs they gave me to stop the seizures, but they made me very tired, and I know it put too much responsibility on the kids. My daughter got tired of taking care of her brother (though when I was her age I was watching my sister for my parents alot). Their Dad got a girlfriend and despite my agreement with him prior to this event he introduced her to the children who liked her, which I was glad for, as I had met someone I was interested in introducing the kids too. The day finally came for me to do so and they loved him, he helped them with thier homework while I was fixing dinner and taught them some games to play. When it was time for them to go to their dads I took my friend home, spent a few days getting to know his family, only to receive a call from my ex that my children no longer wanted to live with me. I cried and pleaded with him to no avail, he would allow them to talk to me on the phone, but only my son would talk, my daughter said she felt ‘uncomfortable’ and that I had somehow ‘lied to her’. I cried for days and stayed at my friends house, I couldnt bear being at home with their stuff all around the house, so I stayed with my friend while I made some important decisions
1. I decided to let the kids stay with their Dad. I would not make that decision for them because even though the state doesnt think they are old enough, I trust them to make it themselves, and if they wanted to be with me, I wouldnt let thier Dad take them from me.
2. I decided to move to Wisconsin with my boyfriend. I couldnt sit home and look at thier rooms every nite and not see them, I knew that would only drive me into a deep depression. This way I see them when I go home, and I go home as often as possible. I will make it a point to tell them both they can call me and see me WHENEVER they want, and the only reason I am not fighting for them is because I wont go against their wishes. I needed to do something with my life anyway, and this feels right. My boyfriend loves me and cares about me more than I could have ever asked for. Also I am out of Mom’s hair which I am sure she appreciates!
So thats where I am at everyone. My Bipolar is a bit out of whack, and my Fibro is flaring, Seizures have gotten alittle worse too, but I think its in anticipation of the upcoming court dates for the divorce. I am doing my best to make all this as seamless as possible, but of course that only makes it harder on me. I’ll live. Thank you all for your continued comments and emails of support and I hope to do another video soon, but I am going to need to help my boyfriend settle some things first.
Take care all!
Jo
Hey Jo, You are in my prayers hun. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling so much. I know how hard it’s for you to let go and let the kids be with their Dad.It shows your unselfish love for them and your inner strength and integrity.My oldest son was 7 when I let him go to his Dad and it was by far the hardest things I ‘ve ever done. I’m here for ya if you need to talk. I wish you knew that. Anyway, I’m praying for whole body healing for you. I love ya! Becky
I just wanted to tell you that I will be praying for you. I’ve read some of your stuff (from here and Fibrotalk–I’m a rare lurker) and I think that you are an amazing person. This just breaks my heart for you!!
This is a verse that I think when I am desperate with fear or anxiety about my circumstances.. (often- I have FMS and 3 small boys).
Jer 29:11 (NIV) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
You are such a courageous person who has proved what we all as moms say, that we would do anything to make our kids happy… but I’m still inclined to say that they are BEST with their mama? I am boldly praying that they change their minds… take care of yourself in the mean time…
*I hope you don’t mind me getting so wordy about your business…. I’m not a weirdie, I promise… Or at least a good weirdie! your site has helped me!
Hi,
I just came across your blog, I am also bipolar.. I guess you could say I am going through a depression right now. I know I have no business judging what is going on in your life, and I don’t know you or your ex. But I can’t help to ask, are you sure your kids really feel that way? Kids can be very impressionable. The fact that they said they felt that way after being with your ex, over the phone… it just doesn’t sound right. Like I said, I don’t know you or your ex, or your kids. But, I can’t help to say something.
I hope everything works out for you. Thanks for writing about your experiences, its nice to hear someone else is having similar experiences and to know I am not alone.
I hope I didn’t offend you.
I’m concerned about the seizures you are experiencing. Be sure that they are not caused by medication taken for the bi-polar. I have experienced this in my family - for three years a family member suffered from seizures which he had not had before. I questioned the possibility of a problem with the type and/or amount of prescriptions being used. With the elimination of some of the drugs, the seizures completely stopped.
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