The Maze of Darkness
I feel like I am in a maze. Its dark. I’m cold on the inside and scared. There is no light in any direction and I am panicking. I just want to find my way out but its so dark, I keep walking into the walls and it hurts so bad. Why cant I find the right path? I just need a sliver of light, just a tiny little reminder of the path I am to take. I stumble, the rocks are sharp, biting into my knees, I get up, I walk faster. I hit a wall and fall backwards. The fall has me disoriented, I slowly get to my feet, I turn left, at lleast I think I do, its hard to tell, I walk cautiously with my hands out in front of me, I feel another wall, or is it the same one I just hit? Who knows, its a wall, its hard, solid, I cannot pass so I feel my way along the edge, down I go again, damn rocks. I get up, brush off my bloody battered knees, and I keep walking……….. I guess I will keep walking until I see a beacon, a sign I am on the right path, or until I fall over from exhaustion and give up. I’m just so cold…………
Dear joskypay,
I’m not sure how this works or if you’ll get it. But I am a pharma rep who carries bipolar meds. I have been marketing them for over 6 years. I have been looking at your youtube pages as well as checking out your website. For someone who has bipolar, you appear VERY accomplished. I applaude your efforts to get the word out as I KNOW how insidious this disease can be. Please keep up the great work as I hope someday that patients like you will stand up and speak out about how devastating bipolar can be.
I have seen some entries that have alluded to suicide. Although I know this is part of the disorder, please reconsider. Youhave a tremendous gift and I would hate for the world to lose out on not knowing you. We have something called a re-integration award and I feel that, with proper treatment, you can make it a long time in this world. It also appears tat you have a son and a daughter and, having 2 girls of my own, would hate for them to grow up without their mom.
Please respond if you feel the need. I’d love to talk to you. And, even though I can’t discuss specifics about the company that I work for or the meds that I market, maybe I can be someone who has at least a clinical understanding of what you are going through. And, from a family experience side of things, I have a sister who is undiagnosed bipolar, a nephew that HAS been diagnosed, my dads mom killed herself, and a cousin who also killed herself by throwing herself in front of a train. So I feel like I have a slim idea of family tragedy.
Time to stop the cycle,
Mike
Add A Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.