Ok this has been a LONG WEIRD road for me, but let me try and update as best I can and briefly as I can for those of you that have asked where I have been or what I have been up to.
My sister gave birth to a healthy boy! So happy for her, and glad that this one went quickly and smoothly. He joins a sister (2) and a half brother (8), everyone is doing well I am happy to say.
Mom has fully recovered from her back surgery and is happy to have no restrictions anymore. Uncle Ted came out for my sisters wedding and I have many great pictures of us all together.
As for me, well I finally got the ball rolling not just on my disability but also my divorce. Paperwork submitted, now the waiting begins. Many of you know, the seizures have been the worst. I am kinda stuck with them since the meds I can take for them knock me out, but if i dont take the meds I have seizure after seizure. Originally the kids started out with me, ex took everything and I was fine with it, in fact I TOLD him to take anything he wanted so long as I got to keep the kids.
So thats how the summer went, and I tried my best to deal with life on the drugs they gave me to stop the seizures, but they made me very tired, and I know it put too much responsibility on the kids. My daughter got tired of taking care of her brother (though when I was her age I was watching my sister for my parents alot). Their Dad got a girlfriend and despite my agreement with him prior to this event he introduced her to the children who liked her, which I was glad for, as I had met someone I was interested in introducing the kids too. The day finally came for me to do so and they loved him, he helped them with thier homework while I was fixing dinner and taught them some games to play. When it was time for them to go to their dads I took my friend home, spent a few days getting to know his family, only to receive a call from my ex that my children no longer wanted to live with me. I cried and pleaded with him to no avail, he would allow them to talk to me on the phone, but only my son would talk, my daughter said she felt ‘uncomfortable’ and that I had somehow ‘lied to her’. I cried for days and stayed at my friends house, I couldnt bear being at home with their stuff all around the house, so I stayed with my friend while I made some important decisions
1. I decided to let the kids stay with their Dad. I would not make that decision for them because even though the state doesnt think they are old enough, I trust them to make it themselves, and if they wanted to be with me, I wouldnt let thier Dad take them from me.
2. I decided to move to Wisconsin with my boyfriend. I couldnt sit home and look at thier rooms every nite and not see them, I knew that would only drive me into a deep depression. This way I see them when I go home, and I go home as often as possible. I will make it a point to tell them both they can call me and see me WHENEVER they want, and the only reason I am not fighting for them is because I wont go against their wishes. I needed to do something with my life anyway, and this feels right. My boyfriend loves me and cares about me more than I could have ever asked for. Also I am out of Mom’s hair which I am sure she appreciates!
So thats where I am at everyone. My Bipolar is a bit out of whack, and my Fibro is flaring, Seizures have gotten alittle worse too, but I think its in anticipation of the upcoming court dates for the divorce. I am doing my best to make all this as seamless as possible, but of course that only makes it harder on me. I’ll live. Thank you all for your continued comments and emails of support and I hope to do another video soon, but I am going to need to help my boyfriend settle some things first.
Take care all!
Jo
The kids know and are thrilled… I am going to start sharing my experiences both being pregnant with bipolar and pregnant with fibro. I can tell you for starters it has not been easy dropping all my meds, I am also experiencing more sickness with this one than my other two, but I am dealing with it and know it will be worth it in the end. I have not gone to the doctor yet, the meds I dropped I did by speaking with my primary care doc, but I am hoping they will at least let me have an antidepressant. I don’t want to hurt the baby, but I am constantly in tears and trying to cope. Either way I will make it through its just hard now, anyone with advice it would be appreciated! I see an OB this month, I will keep you all posted.